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Skrat
"Skrat is an incarnation of chaos, a walking, talking, breathing statistical impossibility that somehow assumed the physical form of a vorcha. In a hat." -- Ferem Baccath. "GIVE SKRAT THING". -- Skrat, repeatedly. A vorcha, who posts sporadically on CDN, informing the board of his actions and adventures, which have taken him from Omega to Illium to Tuchanka. Whatever bizarre situation he reports himself in, he somehow gets out in one piece. Rather cunning in his way, and somehow the phrase "unintelligent" seems wrong for someone so calculating. Not being unintelligent, though, doesn't mean he isn't stupid. Dangerous, in his way. In Praise of Skrat One might think that Juhani was being sarcastic here, but surely not? His horns are sharp and sizeful, very impressive. His orifices are menacing and lined with sharp teeth that can tear through metal. His looks rival those of Srrrn’Chrkk (or whatever the red vorcha’s name is, that one who spends time with Cerastes). His hands are supple, dextrous and well suited to be filled with credits, gold and the hands of other vorchas. His legs sprint faster than a salarian’s, kick harder than a krogan’s, look more exotic than a yahg’s and are generally above anyone else’s in all imaginable criteria that can be compared between species. Aspiring artists dream of drawing his body for life sketches, impressed krogan send him breeding requests in hopes of getting to claim they have laid with Skrat. Benalc’Stahn writes manuals where he is a positive example to all quarians in how to conduct themselves. Albert Lowell thinks Skrat isn’t half bad. There are just few a reasons why our regular forum vorcha Skrat is an amazing individual and credit to Heshtok’s inhabitants all around the galaxy. '' 'The Skrat Chronicles''' Skrat Like Aliens: ...to eat. Skrat Find Thing: Things are momentarily interesting, sometimes. Head Game: Skrat compares alien heads. And he trolls. Skrat Need Help Making Faceplate Talk: Skrat interrogates a quarian. Skrat Attack: Bitterskin goes to rescue the quarian. It ends poorly. The Pumpkin Man: Ichabod burns some salarians. Skrat has a lot to say on this. Skrat Bored: Questions asked about killing. Skrat Have Fans: Skrat is cool. Lirias: Skrat finds the case of Liria T'Remi a little difficult to wrap his head around. Skrat Have Car!: A hair-raising incident. Skrat Detective!: The hunt for the notorious First Harrad begins. Uploading Skrat: Skrat is on Illium. Skrat Need Know What Colour to Cut: Skrat is in a bit of a pickle. Skrat Make List: Skrat remembers some things that exist. Frog Make Skrat Mad: Skrat goes on a rampage, supposedly at Dwickcast Tower. All is not as it seems. Skrat Gonna Jump: Skrat trolls. Skrat Not Know Where Skrat Is: Skrat is lost, and the same might be true of CDN. Skrat Need Box: Skrat becomes philosophical, and nears enlightenment. Skrat Thread Now: Skrat hijacks a discarded thread to demand tribute in the form of essays celebrating... Skrat. Skrat Mow Lawn: The title of resident CDN expert in lawnmowers has been unclaimed for several years. Skrat decides to claim it. Skrat At North Pole: Which one, isn't quite clear. My Sister's Birthday Is Coming Up: A naïve human girl accepts a birthday gift for her sister from Skrat. Everyone tells her it's a bad idea... but maybe Skrat will surprise them? Skrat Stranded: A tropical island? A public fountain? Where is Skrat now? Curr Needs A Hero: Is Skrat that hero? Or is Urdnot Branka? What makes Skrat an ironic hero to Kenlin Tola? Is everyone just childish and/or too ironic for their own good? WHAT IS SPIZA HOLDING IN HIS HAND? Skrat Start Phase One: Skrat is... WASTING WATER. Skrat Smarter Than Varren: A varren can't get into a cage. But can a Skrat get out? Where Reapers Go?: Skrat is on a mission to find answers. Trivia During the events that started the Systems Alliance-Vies War of 2190, Mekan of Omega took the identity of First Har'rad Ski'rat, clearly drawing inspiration from Skrat's misadventures. Category:Vorcha Category:Characters